


You Haven’t Lost Me

by commandershakarian



Series: The Heroes of Ferelden [7]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Dragon Age 2 Spoilers, F/M, Violence, justice anders - Freeform, warden/anders budding romance, warden/anders friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 19:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12660327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commandershakarian/pseuds/commandershakarian
Summary: Solona Amell arrives in Kirkwall seeking her best friend: the mage, Anders. When she finds him, the Warden Commander gets more than she bargained for.





	You Haven’t Lost Me

Solona descended the stairs into the old mine-shafts. The smell of dung, urine and something even fouler met her nose and wrinkling it in disgust, she pushed her way through the refuge riddled tunnels. She had heard that some of the tunnels were used as a sewer now and that explained the scent, but since there was no ventilation, it was like a noxious gas.

The clinic she was looking for was hidden away from the main part of the tunnel system. Lanterns hung outside the doors and Solona was sure that once they were lit, they gave the place a comforting appearance. Solona steeled her nerves and prepared for a battle of sorts. She didn't know what she was walking into and knew she should be ready for the worst possible outcome. How much of Anders was left after his merging with Justice?

Opening the door to the small clinic, Solona stuck her head inside and was surprised to find it empty. A dozen cots were lined up beside each other, extending from one wall and ending in the center of the room. On the opposite side, a desk was positioned with papers, texts and empty flasks scattered about. Taking a hesitant step inside, Solona called out a hello. When there was no answer, she entered completely.

Anders seemed to have made himself a home in Kirkwall and although the circumstances could have been better, she was glad to see him have a purpose. She was about to check the contents of his desk for a clue as to where he could have gone when the sound of footsteps met her ears.

"I'm sorry, but the clinic is closed." The familiar voice of the man she'd known since they were children greeted her ears and with a smile, she turned to meet him.

Anders looked different than he had in Amaranthine. His dark blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail, some strands falling loose across his shoulders. He wore a robe she'd never seen before, complete with feather pauldrons. He was missing the earring that Solona had given him on one drunken night at Vigil's Keep. His jaw was covered in day old scruff. Overall, he looked weary, but well, for one the Chantry would consider an abomination.

She was about to greet him when Anders finally recognized her. His amber eyes widened in fear and a quiet 'oh bugger' left his lips. Then he changed.

Blue light erupted from his skin as if he was glowing from the inside out. Anders grabbed a hold of his head and bowed over in pain, screaming out. He fell to his knees and Solona approached him without thinking about what was happening. She just had to get to him. She had to  _ help  _ him.

That was when a hand closed over her throat.

Anders was standing again, but instead of looking at her with the soft, golden eyes she was used to, blue swirled in those depths, ethereal and magical. It was as if the Fade was staring back at her.  _ The Fade _ . She was looking at the face of Justice.

"Justice- don't do this." Solona said as calmly as she could with the hand still around her throat. "You know you don't want to."

"You threaten everything Anders has worked for!" An eerie voice echoed from where Anders's voice should have been. "I will _not_ let you take him back!"

"I have no intentions of forcing Anders back to Ferelden. You have to believe me." Solona whispered, trying to not panic as the grip tightened slightly. She didn't realize Anders was so strong physically. "I'm no longer in the Wardens."

"I will not fall for your lies! You would abandon your friends to templars to save yourself." Justice sneered, leaning closer to Solona to show how much he meant what he said. "Anders would be better off without you."

Solona didn't give him a second chance to change his mind. With a quick pull on her mana, she cast a shield spell around her body. The force of the spell was so powerful that it launched Anders from her and sent him sprawling across the room. He hit the opposite wall, his head banging violently against the wooden planks that supported the building. As he slumped unconscious to the dirt covered floor, she let out a strangled sob. Anders was in trouble. She needed to find some way to help him. She wouldn't leave him to this fate. It would be too cruel to do so.

Wiping a tear from her cheek, Solona went to tend to her fallen friend.

Solona dabbed a wet rag against Anders' brow. She didn't like seeing her best friend incapable of controlling himself. Justice was a problem and one she didn't know how to fix. With a sigh, she gazed down at him wearily. The taint within her was growing faster than she'd expected. Solona figured it had something to do with not only the fight with the Archdemon, but the Architect as well. She'd spent too much time already around powerful tainted creatures and their darkspawn brethren. Her Calling was definitely going to come faster than those before her. She prayed she could find a solution to Anders' spirit problem before that happened.

Anders groaned as he regained consciousness. Her fears fluttering away at the sound, Solona moved the cloth back to the small bowl she held before setting it beside the cot.

"How do you feel?" She asked, resting a hand against his head.

"Maker- I feel like an ogre threw me across the room." Cracking open an eyelid, an amber eye watched her in suspicion. "An ogre didn't throw me across the room, did it?"   


Solona couldn't help it. She laughed.  _ This  _ was the Anders she knew and loved. The mage who, despite all of the hardships life brought him, still found a reason to laugh. Shaking her head, a smile still upon her face, Solona leaned forward and planted a kiss on his nose. The affectionate peck shocked him into opening his eyes completely.

"What was that for?" He asked with a smile turning the corners of his lips up.

"I missed you, fool." Solona teased him before taking one of his hands between her smaller ones. Massaging the knuckles with her thumb, she avoided his gaze as she continued to speak. "I was worried about you."

"Is that why you're here?" He asked, surprised at her admission. Solona wasn't one to reveal weakness, not even to her closest friends. With a sigh, Anders glanced at the collapsing ceiling of his clinic. "Maker- I'm so sorry, So. I was such an arse to you."

Biting her lip, Solona held tightly to his hand. "No, Anders. I was the one who was an arse."

Anders sat up and putting an elbow under his body for support, watched her with eyebrows pulled together. " _ Don't _ . You wanted to try to find a way out. I get it. I want that too."

Closing her eyes as if she was in physical pain, Solona had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself. "You know me, Anders. I am not meant for a normal life. I can't  _ do  _ it."

Anders squeezed her hand. He knew a lot about physical pain, the templars loved to inflict all sorts of torture upon his body, but he ‘d an even closer relationship with the emotional variety. He hid all of it deep down inside of him where no one could find it. Well, that's how it was before he merged with Justice. Now Justice felt that torment and wanted to act against it.

Opening her eyes once more, Solona's hazel gaze found his. "What  _ happened  _ in Amaranthine?"

With a groan, he threw himself back into the pillows. "You  _ don't  _ want to hear that."

"I think I need to."

Anders nodded and took a moment to collect his thoughts. Then he began. "After you left for Redcliffe, I was so  _ angry _ . I felt betrayed and I truly believed that I hated you. I know that isn't true. I could never  _ hate  _ you, Sol.” She gave him a reassuring smile. That was all he needed to continue. "Well- you had met Rolan and a few of the other new recruits before you disappeared, right? Rolan and another I didn't know were templars prior to becoming Grey Wardens."

"Yes, I heard." Solona said with a frown. She hated that Anders might have thought she purposely left him with a couple of templars, the very people he hated most. To him, that would have been the ultimate betrayal.

"I was paranoid. They were always watching me. Or at least I thought they were. So when Justice offered me the chance to work together to free the mages, I took it and we became one being." Anders paused as he waded through his thoughts. "It wasn't long after that Nate sent me and the Templars to the cave. I mistakenly let Justice come out and they tried to kill me. Justice... stopped them."

Solona let him trail off. It was difficult for him to recount the incident and it obviously caused him a great deal of pain to repeat aloud.

Taking a shuddering breath, Anders opened his eyes. They were sadder than Solona had seen them in years. “I thought I had lost you, Solona. You were the only constant in my life and then you were suddenly _ gone _ .”

Solona took Anders’s hands firmly between her own. “You haven’t lost me, Anders. You never did.”

Anders sighed, closing his eyes once more. He clearly needed to rest and Solona wasn’t going to force him to stay awake. “It’s good to hear you say that, Sol.” Without another words, he slipped off to sleep.

As quietly as she could, Solona leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. It was great to see Anders, but she was worried for him. Justice was getting too strong and she didn’t know how much longer Anders would be himself.

She hoped she wasn’t too late to help.


End file.
